Thursday, July 30, 2009

when everything else fails.

...because sometimes you reach what's real just by making believe.

I am a sucker for making believe.
Just because life is all about making believe.
Just because making believe can make everything bearable.
Just because it's fun.
Just because it calms me down.
Just because.


(picture taken from here. credit goes to its rightful owner.)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

please enter the way you just exit.

For the last three years, on this very date, my day goes out like this :
Wake up, set up, drive up, class up, meet up, chat up, laugh up, hang out, drive down, clean up, wind down, sleep.
Somewhere in between all that i get to be with my family and friends. Surrounded by people who matters.

Fast forward three years on, today, my day went on like this :
Wake up. Set up. Send mom to work. Drive to work. Work. Work. Work. Breathe. Work. Work. Lunch. Work. Work. Drive back, pick up mom. Drive home. Clean up. Sleep.
And the cycle continue 5 days a week. 7am to 6pm.
All by myself.
I am only surrounded by the people who matters when the sun starts to set. Not enough time if you ask me.

The first day at work was rough.
The first week was hard.
Come second week, even though it is still extremely difficult, things started to fall into place. One by one. Step by step. Little by little.
For someone like me, "slow" does not fit in my "Dictionary of Things That Are Suppose to Happen or/and Already Happen."
But I have no choice. Slow is how it has to be.

I am now coping with an unconducive work environment. A small office. A tiny cubicle that is, give or take, 5ft x 4ft in space. Surrounded by files and papers. And a PC that has no internet connection.
The place is so small that if you sit in the Boss's room, you can see the photocopier that is situated at the far back of the office, i.e. at the end.

The office hour starts at 8.30am and ends at 5.30pm. Since I am just a temporary staff, new in this place, my work scope range from the blue collared type of work to clerk's work to secretary's work to a real lawyer's work. In other words, there's a lot of work. And by a lot I mean A LOT!

To top it off, I am still learning. So, everyday I have to face the Boss who will explain to me every little thing/procedure/laws whatsoever and answer his questions.

Apart from the lonely lunch hour, I usually find myself occupied and busy. Trying not to mess things up.

The people.
Well, lets see....most of them are women. 2 men. The women prefers to be called "kak -insertnamehere-" instead of Puan. Score one.
One of them is obsessed with the word "Reputasi". She will go to great length to try to use that word every hour or so. The same goes to the other one, except that her word of the century in "Berduyun". Whatever that means.
Another one seems to can't except the fact that she's short. Ouch. Okay okay...petite.
The rest seem pretty normal. And they are all friendly.
They are busy bunch of people. And quite on the ting-tong side to. Sometimes they speak using codenames. In number.
Example : "002, can I have paper clips?" to which 002 will reply, "002 cannot reach lah 005, ask 003."
I am pretty sure that my codename is 007. Cool.

I learn a lot while I am here. Still learning.
So, all in all, even though I am not in my usual state of happiness and crazyness here, even though I have none of my friends around, even though I am not in a new state-of-the-art office, even though I miss my friends everyday, I am trying my best to cope and not complain.

Looking from this side of life, I pity all the people who have their friends surrounding them. To be by their side while going through whatever the "difficulties" they are facing. I pity all the people who got what they were wishing for but still whine every single day. I pity all the people who work in a well-off, polished, perfect and new office but still does not know how to be thankful. I pity all the people who got the experience they needed and the opportunity they wanted and still wants something else.

To me, I might not have all they have, but they have less of what I have.

Hey, at least...I got to do this.

Yeah people. I still got my mojo bebeh.


*edited* *24thJuly2009*
related post that i find very amusing and strongly agree with : "berada dalam kasutku" (in my shoes).

Sunday, July 19, 2009

special shoutout.

to my friend mellyholilo.
who's about to enter the restless world of white collared worker.
good luck being the kuli!
(i know you're gonna read this the moment you can lay your hands on the pc/laptop at work.)

and to moomoo dotter, (if you are, by a crazy chance, reading this)
three cheers to us who made through the first week. weekends ended too soon huh?

so, back to normal now. whatever that is.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

cukup-cukupla tu syaitan, orang lain pun busy dan penat juga....

(yes I do speak Bahasa Malaysia.)

PPSMI anyone?
(Teaching of Mathematics and Science in English.)
For those of you who doesn't know what on earth am I talking about, you can click here. Unfortunately, i can only find the Bahasa version of it.

It's a mouthful don't you think?
And we thought PMS is a lot to deal with, huh?
Well, I am not about to argue on the pros and cons of the implementation.
But it's interesting to see the phonetic approach of translating English to Bahasa.

Take a look at what a bunch of bored and crazy people have done about it.

(This is taken from my friend's Facebook account.)

Me to Mellyholilo : ai got a seprais for yu. but i think u can probably guess what it is.

Azhani Azizan
moomoowear iss main?
Nadia Zainal
yor's got wan bat ai wan mai kek barteek ferst.
Mel Ahmad
5 kali baca baru i paham ape korang duk mengarut.
Putri Nurul Ain
i pun.. berpinar2 mataaa...
Azhani Azizan
yu sed buat dulu four orang lain..kam laa tu shah alam dis mek four yu.ok? ai wan mai rey ben.
Putri Nurul Ain
OMG!!!!!!! serious berpinar weiiii.. @-@
Nadia Zainal
haa..dat la yor seprais wan! layter if ai go der ai gif yu er kol ai pass yu, yu pass mi mai kek hor. ai dono wen la koz veri de bizi. ai kol ai kol.
Nadia Zainal
haih put, mel..yu ol no ers la. dis is veri tipikel ers wan.
Azhani Azizan
yu kol aaa? gud gud. yahu. ai veri de laik! wat kaler yu bott? ai kent wett!! ai mek kek barteek kuik kuik four yu ehh..hihi. if not, jes kam enitaim. i ken mek. hihi
Nadia Zainal
wan belu. di ader wan ai go bai tunait or tumoro koz ai fourgot yor fren wan wan. wan kaler hi wan? or if yu wan enader kaler yu ken gif yor fren de belu wan.
yayy!! layter if ai go der ai kol. kek barteek!!!
Mel Ahmad
rasa nk mencarut je bila bace. memcabar kesabaran
sungguh. dh put toksah campur. hahahahaha.
Azhani Azizan
hehe act i pon da pening hahah
Nadia Zainal
kahkahkah! ai yem de las wan stending!


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Shortcuts for next week's marathon.


i wish life has an undo button.

Or backspace..

(pict taken from icanreadblog. credit goes to its rightful owner.)

I would even settle for a reverse gear.

Monday, July 13, 2009

I don't like crowds.

I went to a battlefield today.

Because I've previously been hurt in this war, I chose to not involve myself in today's battle. I didn't even stand on the sideline. I sit quietly at the nearby meadow minding my own business.

But, duty calls.

I was the commander of a platoon who got injured while fighting a double-crosser in our troop. At that time, it was as though I was fighting a losing battle, with no one by my side. Although later it turns out that my men was behind me all the way, it was too late as I lost the fight and injured myself badly. The injury was bad enough that I, myself requested for my own withdrawal.
At that moment, they didn't seem like they need me at all. They didn't even objected my proposal. The double-crosser won and stayed as I discreetly withdrew myself from the troop.

And today,
Today they called me back into this war. Saying that they need my help. I went and listen.
But secretly, I pledged to myself that I will never help them. Even in helping them it'll benefit me. I won't.
Because in the end, it won't even matter to them. I won't matter to them.
Because, they don't matter to me. Not anymore.

I don't hate them.
I just don't love them anymore.

Whoever said family isn't a battlefield…

…is damn wrong.

Friday, July 10, 2009

time off for good behaviour.

Ever feel like you're being left out? Or singled out?
Not a good feeling huh?

This person has friends. Well who doesn't?

  • One is the closest to her. She loves One. They don't contact each other all the time every time. But they love each other. And she doesn't hide anything from One. Psst. One shares her deepest secret.

  • Two. Comes after one. Out of this lot, it is Two that she had the longest friendship with. Two is the one she shares most of her gossips with. They understand each other. Especially love story-wise.

  • Three is the most fun out of them all. Three is the one that she feels most comfortable to be herself with. The one she can be silly with. It doesn't hurt that Three shares the same passion for music as her.

  • Four. Well, she doesn't know Four for that long. At first, she thought Four was a little bit annoying. She was wrong! Boo-hoo! Four is actually the most jovial person she knows.

  • Five is the latest addition on her favourite friend's list. She likes Five for 5 reasons: blunt. unafraid. strong. straight to the point. brilliant.

  • Six isn't that close to her as she is with the rest of them. But she likes Six cuz there's just no reason not too. Even though Six is a bit self-righteous sometimes and Six talks a lot. And by that I mean A LOT!

  • Seven! Is the liveliest of them all. Seven is her biggest fan even though there's nothing about her that is worth being fanatic about. Seven is the person she counts on the days her blues decided to pay a visit. Seven never failed to make her laugh.

These seven people are the ones whom she feels close to the most. They might not know that. They might not even consider her as one of the important people in their life.
The rest of the people she knows comes pretty much close after them but not even a little bit less important than them.

But they?
They almost always left her out.

Or they include her in just to forget that she was included.

But that's okay.
We all know that most of the people we know didn't mean to leave us out.

It is always unintentional.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Happy New Now!

...and so the title have spoken.

Hello World.

This marks my arrival into the blogging universe. A universe so new to me that I am now lost for words to express myself. Not that I am much of an expressive person. Rather, I am the opposite of it. I am the epitome of inexpressiveness. Or so to say. Let's see if the blogging can help fix that.

As I'm writing this, Micheal Jackson's Memorial is being aired over the TV.
I am not going to be a hypocrite and say that I have always and will always love the King of Pop. He is not on the top of my favourite's list. But he is a King. He's THE KING. And the lost will be felt by everybody whose life has been touched by him. Me included.

Today, the world mourns by celebrating the life of him. Happy. You wear black. You deliver speeches in front of his casket. You sing his song in front of his remains. Happy.

The fact is, what the world is trying to do is to forget of the fact that some of us tried hard to make his life miserable. How, you ask? By celebrating his life. By being happy about the fact that he had a glorious fulfilled life. One that was filled by numerous people slandering him, questioning what he does, and so on.
You be the judge of that.

To the man named Micheal Jackson, thank you for being the person you are.
Indeed, you have had an eventful life. I hope, wherever you are now, you'll find that your life was in fact wonderful.
And thank you for the songs.
I am happy now that you are free from the cruel world.

On that note, it is a
Happy New Now.